College Realizations

Wow! Long time no see, eh? Well I guess I will just get started by saying that my Senior year has been…interesting. I’ve come to understand a whole lot of things in a much deeper way than ever before, and could not be more thankful for the truth that God has laid on my heart. I guess one of the biggest things I have learned about college is that it serves better as a means for learning about yourself, your relationships, and your passions than it does for discovering your “calling” to a specific career. Without those three attributes in-line it’s kind of like flying through the Bermuda Triangle; hopelessly difficult.

I’ve come to these realizations “the hard way” as some may say. One day in class, I found myself becoming super frustrated with where my life was at. I was actually sitting there, very cynically saying to myself, “Goodness this is a waste of my time, I could be doing this, this and this with my time. I can’t believe I’m sitting here when I could be making money (with one of my four jobs) or getting something worthwhile done.” And then I became even more frustrated when I realized just how twisted that thought was, and how much I terribly longed not to be such a doer of a list of things. Basically God gave me a heart check right then and there and made me take a hard look at all the clutter in my life.

For me, really wrestling with who I am and what I am passionate about has been the most difficult, yet most rewarding learning process of my college tenure. Without understanding either, your life and its purposes are entirely devoid of direction. In hindsight, I can say that this is the largest contributing factor in allowing myself to get so involved in things that I only found myself loathing months later.

So who am I? Well that question requires a complex answer, but for starters I would say I am an overcomer; a conqueror. One day as I was praying about this God just put a super strong image on my heart – that of the white and red-polka dotted rider in the tour de France. Who is he? He is the “King of the Mountains,” the best climber of the bunch. He is the rider that looks at the hill, thinks “hmmm that looks challenging” and then accelerates full steam ahead to tackle the challenge like a madman, laughing as he goes.

I hadn’t thought about it much prior to that day, but man does that image ever speak to my heart. It really does encompass so much of me, Shawn Michael Gerber. I live for the challenge. I want people to tell me it’s impossible. That’s why I am so entrepreneurially focused and always have been. I live for the challenge. I fully embrace it.

On the flipside of such a personality, however, is the battle that comes with it. A key question in the hearts of most, if not all men, is “do I have what it takes? Am I good enough?” Now let me just tell you that that right there is the primary battleground for many men, especially ones like me. Without knowing who you are, and how that plays into your passions, you will be easily struck down because Satan will continually barrage you in your weak spot. Even more important, however, are your supporting relationships with warrior brothers. We were not created to live alone, let alone battle alone. Don’t be mistaken, it is a war, one of attrition through doubts, discouragement, temptation, lust and so much more.

Allow me to digress for a moment. The other day I was confronted with a very interesting question. Why is worship so much different between people in third world countries and Americans? After thinking about it for some time I came up with a potential answer. The veil has been pulled over our eyes here in America. We are so comfortable. We have shelter, food, clean water, relationships, and so much more whereas our third world counterparts are just struggling to survive. They are fighting with witchdoctors, and many things unseen. The battle in both the physical and spiritual realms is just so real to them. They see the war waged upon them each and every day and are so deeply thankful for God’s provision. They understand true joy and the battle that it requires. I don’t think most of us see it here in America. The battle is subtle, dangerously so. Too often do we brush things off as random thoughts, or unfortunate coincidences. It’s a stinking war and you need all of your heart, soul, and mind to be in check. You have to be awake and aware. The veil needs to be ripped down, with the support of you warrior brothers and sisters. There is a battle for our joy that rages each and every day, and we must stick together and fight for it.

In discovering who I am, I also found my deep love for my savior. It is my driving passion. I almost hate saying this to people because it sounds so radical in my head at times, but if I am going to do something with my life, I just know I will not be satisfied unless I am valiantly serving my Lord. In Matthew Jesus speaks of all the things that the disciples did unto others as if they were done unto Him. I have always been struck so hard by this verse. When confronted with the question of how to return your love to God, my simplest solution boils down to that verse. My passion is to love people; to serve them as if I am serving Christ in person. It is no more complicated than that.

So rather than going any deeper on this, since I have already written a ton, I will just conclude with this. I am an overcomer, a vencedor as we say in Spanish. I am passionate about loving my savior with everything in me. I value my relationships much more than my formal education, and realize that without these three truths in my life I am directionless, without a purpose or a motivation. I am incredibly thankful for the Spirit of Truth that has lead me this far, and can only hope to fully step into my passions in the near future even though at the moment I don’t know what that will look like.

So who are you? What are your deepest passions? What does your heart say? Ask God for help. He will always follow through. Listen intently and be ready for the truth to dramatically change your life. Find a close friend and walk through it with them. It will be great.

Cambios son necesarios

If you've been following along, I want to pull out one more piece of Pastor Hagee's analogy of the mountains and valleys. If you haven't please go back a few posts before continuing...Inherent in the barren peaks and lush valleys is something I can't quite believe I forgot to write about last night. I think something that we often avoid as "comfortable Americans" is change. Change is uncomfortable, challenging and scary. So much so that we often fight it with everything in us. However, I think it is quite obvious in this analogy that change is a NECESSITY. The movement from the lush, dark valleys of growth to the mountain tops and back again is exactly how we better ourselves in Christ. It is exactly how we fully support the glory of God's grace in us and begin to change the world. I think, no no, I know that it is very ingrained in us to fight change, but I yet again want to challenge the status quo of just accepting that attitude, and urge you to embrace change, or as the B2B director likes to say, embrace the friction. May the eyes of your heart be open to God's great and glorious plan for your life.

Shawn

Don't look at the rock...

So…in light of the epic MAN TRIP ’09 I just took, I just had a couple thoughts I wanted to write on in this little bit of internet space I get to enjoy. I spend a lot of my time going up things, and coming back down, to put it simply. I bike up hills (which are somehow, pretty much my favorite and strongest aspect of cycling) and bike back down them. I ride ski lifts way up mountains, only to snowboard back down them. I hike to the heights of God’s creation, only to yet again venture back down. Suffice it to say, all of this brings to the front of my mind a nice analogy that I heard one time from Pastor Hagee I believe. He simply talked about how God created nature and he continues to point out that on mountain peaks we find no life- no vegetation (assuming the mountain is tall enough), but rather that we find lush abundance that we desire in the valleys by the riverbeds. His simple point? Life is found in the valleys. Growth is born there. While mountain top experiences carry a great significance to each and every one of us, you must readily admit that we are not meant to stay there and that without the growth found in the valleys leading up to it, it would not even be slightly the same. It is for this very reason that Paul advises us to rejoice in our sufferings and to remain joyful. God has great things in store for us, but often times we miss out on what is happening now, in our valleys, and sometimes miss out on our mountain top altogether.

Speaking of missing out on our mountain tops, I have another analogy I want to throw out there. In the world of snowboarding I learned a beautiful thing. “If you look at what you are trying to miss, you’ll surely hit it. Rather you need to look at where you’re going.” It may sound like complete poppycock, but in all seriousness it is so very true. If you look at that rock you are trying to miss, you’re probably going to nail it, seriously. Same holds true for lots of other things like driving and cycling. So how does this even slightly relate? I think so often we get ourselves so sidetracked because we focus so very much on the things that could go wrong; the things that could endanger our mountain top experience, that we end up running right into them or just bail out early due to fear when all we really needed to do was focus on where we were headed. It’s kind of like my “man trip” this past weekend. I climbed up something that admittedly was not very safe, but unlike my comrades, I did not limit my thoughts to the things that could go wrong, all the various ways I could fall, but rather I focused on the things I could do right, and the ultimate goal. In the end, it was almost as if it wasn’t dangerous at all, and let me just tell you that the reward was priceless. Keeping your eyes on Christ and on His will for your life, even in the valleys, is of utmost importance. If you don’t stand in His will for you, you won’t stand at all. So to tie it all together, there is life giving growth in the valley, and rather than bowing to fear, or being swayed from the Lord’s perfect path, we need to push ourselves to further focus on Him and on His will for our lives during those times. If we don’t we will surely be led astray, and perhaps even get stuck on the barren part of that mountain that is not yet the peak, but rather a dismal middle ground – in a lukewarm existence desiring more without finding it. Don’t look at the rocks, people. Just don’t do it.

Luke 10:38-42

What's stopping you?

So like I said at the very beginning of this blog, we often limit ourselves and limit God because we rationalize our potential away and try to remain comfortable. In light of what I just wrote, and in the great promise that we are "more than conquerors" (Romans 8:37) I just want to ask the question (again if you checked my facebook) of 'what is stopping you from changing the world?' Don't for a second think you can't. It might be hard, but Christ conquered everything, including death...Stand strong. Let His glory shine through you.

Oaks of Righteousness

So taking that topic of faith and running with it a little further, I just want to discuss a big theme in my life for the past several months. My theme has been based around a verse and a common parable. The verse is short and simple. Isaiah 61:3 says "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor." The parable is the parable of the sower, which I have already talked about a couple times.

So I've often hiked through the forest and passed by big tall oak trees. They really are a sight to be seen, but what is even more amazing is not their aesthetics, but rather it is their incredible sturdiness. Oaks are very strong trees that withstand the fiercest of occasions. I think this is part of the reason that Isaiah used such language. When Christ raises us up for HIS glory, we are to be very strong, and not blown over by the inevitable storms of life.

Kind of running off of that, I ran across an analogy used by Beth, a director of B2B. She talks about the same imagery of a tree, but brings into the very picture the very important aspect of the fruit in which we bear. She likes to say that we start at the roots, and that that is where we are drawing our sustenance which directly affects our trunks, or our what she refers to as self image. In turn that self image directly affects the top of the tree, the part which bears the fruit.

Where am I going with this? Those trunks, while very hidden under the ground, are the most important aspect of the whole tree for without them the rest of the purpose of the existence of the tree begins to crumble. It is so important to watch what you are letting "in your water" for it can very easily jump right up into that self image weaken you to the point of falling at the slightest breeze. We need to be firmly rooted in Christ and in his Word; In Truth so that when tests and trials do come we are healthy, and firmly rooted. We can stand and display the splendo of God. Even more importantly we want to be producing the best fruit we can for we exist for the benefit of others. We want to multiply God's splendor, not a poisoned counterfeit...

So back to faith...the other day I stumbled over another verse that kind of tied together my thoughts on the issue. That verse is Hebrews 11:7 which speaks this of Noah, "By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith." So the question of how do we become an oak of righteousness is pretty simply answered. Faith is the stepping stone to righteousness...It starts with belief...belief in the Truth, them leads to action (as is seen in the examples of faith in Hebrews 11).

So just take a second to evaluate yourself. Do you feel like an oak of righteousness? Also ask yourself what kind of story your fruit tells? Be honest with yourself.

If you'd like to talk more about this or anything please just contact me. Love ya'll!

Doubt and Faith

Wow...it's been awhile since I last wrote, but rest assured I have a whole list of things I want to blog on. I will just start with probably one of the simplest yet ground breaking statements that one of my mentors said to me. We were just having a discussion about various things one night at Applebees, one of which was the subject of faith and doubt. All he said was this, "Doubt is necessary, for without doubt there would not be faith, but rather there would be certainty." I don't know. Maybe I'm retarded but that little seed of a thought exploded in me as I dwelled upon it for the following weeks. For starters it eliminated a ton of guilty feelings that rolled around in my head as I had just struggled with the fact that I doubted things and that I felt like such a sinner because of it. Not only that, it brought to my attention the way in which God so very often acts. Often He will give us an urging, or whatever you want to call it, via the Spirit, but yet often there is deep doubt. So very often we can let ourselves be overcome simply by these thoughts when what is required of us is a single step out over that barrier of doubt to see God start working in the plans He already has in store for us. Faith is about that step, in fact I would venture as far as to say it IS that step and the ones following. It's not just thinking against doubt, which is more of a thing of belief. It is action. Sure belief is good, in fact is is the foundation of faith but what good does it do without action? How can God use you if you sit there and believe something but never act upon it? Faith is action. Christ is about action. How are you going to act?

My Weapon

Ever had one of those days when pretty much everything that could go wrong does? Today was one of those days. I would write about it all, but looking back a line from a psalm comes to mind that persuades me in a different direction.

May the praise of God be in their mouths and a double-edged sword in their hands -Psalm 149:6

Did you catch that? Our praise can be a weapon in the never ending spiritual battles we encounter. So even amidst the chaos I will choose to praise my King and use it as my double edged sword against my ever prowling enemy rather than complain about all that went wrong...Praise be to God for a blessed day and for everything that went right! =)

Walking Blindly

Okay, so admittedly things are becoming a bit more routine around here as I approach week 6, so it is becoming more challenging to find ways to be out of my comfort zone. Even though things have become more routine, I do have a story to share with ya'll that really exemplifies what stepping out of your comfort zone looks like.

So last week, at the end of the working week (Thursday) we went out to another poverty stricken area that we serve called the Cadereyta. That was my second visit, and the past visit all I did was do construction type work in the church there. The goal for this day, however, was purely to do an outreach of food, clothing and other random things we obtained throughout the past month. So when we arrived, the captain for the day asked me to walk through the town and invite people to said outreach. Now, at this point I was pretty confident in my Spanish, BUT having never passed through the town in the slightest, I was immediatley nervous. Nonetheless, I stepped up and walked blindly though this town doing something I had NEVER done before, invite complete strangers to an outreach IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE. Every other time this kind of opportunity arises, there is usually a leader of some sort from the town that leads us through and helps out a ton. No luck this time, haha.

So despite my anxieties it ended up going really well, as I recruited some of the little boys to help me (funny story, I asked one of them to invite a specific house, and he told me "I don't know them, that would be embarassing." It's hard enough for the Mexicans to do it haha). The coolest thing that happened, and what I think is such an image of how God rewards us when we step out is that one of the gentlemen I spoke with ended up inviting me, and one other group member in to chat. Sadly I forget his name, but nonetheless it was just SUCH a blessing to meet him, his wife and five children and just chat about life a little bit. He spoke a little bit of English which was nice, and by the end he even offered us a coke. The best thing though, while I did enjoy this a lot, is that I know that the lady that was with me, Judy, who spoke no Spanish, absolutely loved it. I can't imagine she ever thought that she would end up in a complete strangers home in a very impoverished part of Mexico chatting it up. It actually ended up being the highlight of her week. I was just so glad that I could be an instrument for God in that way, and it was just so cool to see the hand of God deliver on such a step out of both of our comfort zones.

I will write more pretty soon. Love you all!

Race Day!

Okay, so I did it! All 10 Km and no walking at all. I kind of can't believe it. I kept waking up last night thinking to myself, "What are you doing? You hate running! Why would you EVER run for like an hour?"

So if you haven't seen my facebook update, I finished all 6.2 miles in 55 minutes and roughly 30 seconds. That averages out to just a hair under 9 minute miles. For not really training at all I am pretty pleased with the result.

Just to entertain ya'll I'm gonna give you a quick timeline of the day/race.

6:00 - Wake up, stumble around in the dark.
6:15 - Pound a banana and Nature Valley bar.
6:20 - Say goodbye to one of the staff members returning to states =(
6:30 - Get in the car with a bunch of Mexicans and listen to my iPod. I chose chill music. I wanted to have relaxed muscles haha. The hardcore music was post race.
7:15 - Arrive at Parque Fundidora.
7:20 - See the start line packed with racers. I got wicked nervous at this point.
7:25 - Acted like I was stretching, but knew that it wasn't doing me any good since I didn't warm up at all.
7:30 - Start! (This was super anti-climactic. It's like this big count down, but unless you're in front you kind of just stroll up to the start line.
7:30 - 7:40 - Still had the nervous pee feeling, and my body was practically screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"
7:55 - My body is finally warmed up. I lengthened my stride and took off. It felt awesome to be passing people all over the place.
8:15 - I'm like 3 Km away from the finish. My body started to hurt.
8:25 - Went numb when I started "sprinting" to the finish. Pretty sure I forgot to breathe for about 100m. I just about puked.
8:30 - Get handed my wooden medal and a bunch of food/drink items.
8:30 - 9 - Act like I'm stretching but I'm really just eating that food that I just got.
9-10:30 Leave, eat a ton of delicious tacos, shower, and head to church.
11:00-12:00 - Church. I don't have a clue what was said in the sermon. I do remember singing Te doy gloria (I give you glory). It's such a great worship song.
12:00-3ish - Sleep, and I mean hardcore sleep. I drooled.
3:00-4:00 - Pool recovery time =)
4:00-5:00 - Sleep
5:00-Now - Skype and blog time...

So to sum up the race itself, I started super slow, ran fast, crashed, and finished hard =) Thanks for all your encouraging comments! I want my bike back. Hasta Luego.

Picos y Valles

As I sit here to write this blog post, it feels as if it is the first time in a while I’ve had a chance to just stop and catch my breath. This past week was just a whirlwind of terribly efficient chaos. I look back at what so many dearly refer to as “McCollum week” and am just so grateful for how Mr. McCollum has partnered with this ministry, sharing the love of Christ through everything from soccer camps to handing out gospel tracts with sweet pictures for the children. During this exciting week I had the privilege of leading another bible study, only this time I had 6 soon to be high school seniors who are still very much seeking out God and His will for their lives. What I had an opportunity to discuss with them and with several others is exactly what I wish to share with you all.

One day I felt God leading me to ditch the pre-pared study for a more radical approach. I decided to stop dancing around by asking shallow questions and just asked these guys about what it is they struggle with in their faith. I got a lot of great answers which I won’t share here, but regardless one of the answers steered us into a discussion about the differences between faith at home and Mexico. It really got me thinking about a lot of different things, especially the “peaks and valleys.” Something I learned about this week is that there are so many people who look to missions trips for their spiritual high, and depend on it. They almost count on it to pluck them out of the hole that they have dug for themselves. Now how can that even slightly be okay? I mean I admit that I have been there before, but what is so different about Mexico and serving orphans that would make it something we should rely on to “pick us up in our faith?” ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The God that empowers those in missions is the same God that empowers us at home. Allow me to take a look at the American life for a moment and point out just what I pointed out to these young men.

1) One of the guys said something along the lines of “Oh, it is just so easy to focus on Christ when you are serving orphans/those who are just in a place of so much need. You are constantly reminded of what you are doing and how God is present.”

Hmmm…to that I say “there aren’t needs like that surrounding you at home?” I mean, yes, you aren’t venturing into impoverished areas every day, or loving on the orphan child but let’s think about this on a different level. The impoverishment in America isn’t necessarily in the lacking of physical things. It lies deep within people, where so much anxiety, depression and hurt reside. There are hurting people all around you every day; all you have to do is ask God to open your eyes to it and break your heart for what breaks His. He will certainly show you. Be ready.

2) “It’s just so easy to focus on God here. We have set quiet times and are surrounded by Christians. It’s so much easier to be a Christian here.”

Okay, so you have set quiet times…it’s just a terrible statement that points out how much discipline we often lack. There is, and always should be time for God each day. All you have to do is get yourself in the routine. I bet if you find a time, and devote yourself to using it for 3 weeks the habit will stick. Dealing with the other part, I will admit that there is some truth to the statement, but at the same time should you not be encountering like-minded Christians (or at least be seeking them out) as you endeavor to bring light to the dark places? By no means are you alone…I mean at the very least the best way to deal with that struggle is to fellowship in the church setting. Again, it becomes more of a discipline thing…No one ever said being a Christian was a cakewalk.

Okay…so those may not be the kindest words in the world, but if you are feeling convicted you may want to ask God why you have that conviction in the first place and hear Him out. Stop rationalizing your excuses. The devil is the King of lies and doesn’t want you to stop rationalizing.

Anyways, so outside of getting a little fired up about those things and pointing out some ways that faith in the US and faith in Mexico are not all that different, I just want to draw a picture of faith that came to me; a picture that illustrates the peaks and valleys we all experience. Take a look at my poorly hand-drawn diagram.



So diagram A is a faith that is dependent on experience, not on a relationship…it is a faith that waits to go on a missions trip, or attend a Christian camp or go to church on Sundays just to “get our spiritual high.” All too often do I see people do this only to return home and bounce right back into the same problems they had before. Where is the growth? It is nowhere to be found, or at the very best is marginal. This is a stagnant Christian…

Diagram B is a relationship with Christ. It is of a person who truly abides in Christ and experience’s His joy and shelter regardless of the trial. It is this person that grows. It is the person that sees a problem, seeks to align themselves in their problem with Christ and totally rely on Him. It is these that by persevering produce a crop in their own lives, and more importantly, in the lives of others. (Luke 8:15, if you read this notice how it implies that perseverance is necessary. We don't just reap crops by doing nothing).

So most likely after all that I’ve said I have stirred one emotion or another. If you are defensive, and thinking to yourself, “What does he know? It is SO hard to come back to the states. God just isn’t as present.” or "He's just on a spiritual high right now, just wait until he gets back." Let me tell you something that is incredible, even awe-inspiring. When you confess that Jesus is Lord and that He died on the cross for your sins, His Holy Spirit rushes into your heart, and goes with you wherever you are. This Holy Spirit is called the Spirit of Comfort, Truth, Wisdom, and many more things. How awesome is it that God gifted us with that!? I can tell you very honestly that God is absolutely with you EVERYWHERE and through EVERYTHING, and that all too many have fallen to the lie that God does not speak to us, and does not care about our hearts. He does, period. He loves you more than you can even understand. I encourage you to diligently seek this out in your life, and ask God the hard questions about your faith. Dig in. Get out of your comfort zone, and let God take you higher than you have ever been before. He is always with you and He never changes. What a promise…So to conclude...this is the kind of faith I want, and that I want others to have. I fully intend to pursue it for myself and can only hope others follow me. Please keep me accountable.

Invisible...

So as you have probably figured out by now, I love music, and often feel God moving through it. Just last night we began singing a new song called Break Through, by Tommy Walker. I posted all the lyrics and highlighted what really stuck out to me.

Break through, break through all my doubts
Break through, break through all my fears
Break through That I may worship You
Break through, break through all my pain
Break through, all my guilt and my shame
Break through like only You can do

You are brighter than my darkest night,
Stronger than my toughest fight
Just one touch from You, my King, my Friend
And I’ll never be the same again

The lyrics about being stronger than my toughest fight quickly brought my mind to some scripture I had read early that day (or maybe week, I can't remember for sure) from 2 Kings chapter 6, which tells us a story about Elisha capturing the Syrian army against all odds. What strikes me the most is the part that says:

"Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." And Elisha prayed, "O LORD, open his eyes so he may see." Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. (Verses 16-17)

What a great picture of our God being SOOOO much bigger and stronger than our strongest fight! He can send an army of fire to protect us! That image of have an army of fire surrounding me in my struggles just overwhelmed me last night, and yet again reminded me to not put God in a box. We serve a truly great and glorious God.

As promised...

Hi ya'll! Here is the super cute video that I mentioned yesterday. It's the kids from Imperior de Amor singing for us after we had finished working for the day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GIbgE1TbHY

Today was a pretty simple, yet fun day, as I got to lead two other men in building a picnic table for a children's home called Bathesda. I 1) almost decided to walk of with super cute Mexican kid, and 2) ended up getting a ton of sun again and of course I failed to put on sunscreen...The tan-o-meter is putting me pretty darn close to Mexican right now, haha (I just had a conversation with a Mexican about this, and they actually admited that I was pretty close). K, well that is all for today. Not a long post for once. God bless!

Ayyy! El Fuego!!!

Remember how I was talking about chaos yesterday? Get this- today during worship a couple of guys across the street who were probably a bit drunk dropped a cigarette into the grass around their feet, and before they knew it, a huge fire had broken loose. By the time we noticed it, the flames were up above the 10 foot concrete wall surrounding the place. When we got there, and asked them if they had it under control, they said, “Oh no, we’re fine” as the fire quickly spread away from the single measly hose. We quickly dismissed that, grabbed hoses and buckets, and extinguished the very out of control fire. Needless to say it was kind of chaotic and quite the mid-worship experience.

As for the rest of the day, it was very low key. I went with my group to a church service at the local orphanage Casa Hogar Douglas (CHD) and it was AWESOME! I just loved worshiping totally in Spanish and sharing in a powerful message. After the service the group served food to the orphans and care givers before heading back to campus for a pool party with kids from another local orphanage called Bathesda. The party was a lot of fun for the kids, and I thoroughly enjoyed spending time in the pool with some of my favorite girls that live on the campus (Lupita, Ashley, and Brendis). I feel so blessed by them, especially when I get to legitimately hang out with them. That was pretty much the end of the work day for me...nice and low key.

SOOOOO, I am in the process of uploading a super cute video to YouTube for you all. It should be finished by tomorrow so I will post that link then. Until then, you can enjoy this goofy picture of what I like to call my “tan-o-meter.” That is my degree of tan after two weeks in the awesome Mexican sun haha.

Recuerda, somos más que conquistadores. =)

Chaos and Opportunity

So as many of you know, I changed my major from Entrepreneurship to Finance this past year for several reasons, none of which are relevant to this post. One of the things I have learned after switching over is a phrase that primarily relates to the state of the economy and trading on the stock market. That phrase is “Where there is chaos, there is opportunity.” I don’t know who said it originally, but I do know that its implications hold some truth both economically and spiritually.

At first I never really thought about it outside of an economic point of view, but the other day I began thinking about it from a different perspective. I decided to stop putting God in the box that I so often placed him in and look for Him in even the most odd and chaotic of places. For example, the other day I was working at an orphanage called Casa Hogar Douglas, which is just down the street, and I found myself in a discussion with the captain about the very broken pasts that many if not all of these kids have, and my mind went directly past all the powerfully bad things we so often focus on to the ridiculous potential that God has for these children, HIS children. Their broken lives are such an opportunity for Him to show up and show off. God really has a great plan for each and every one of them. I mean I can’t help but give praise, even amongst the direst of circumstances. There is just such an opportunity for God’s glory to shine through that it isn’t even funny.

While I never initially thought about whether or not this concept is biblical or not, it turns out that it can be found in the lives of some of our favorite characters. Lately I have been reading through 1 Kings, and I just recently covered a couple of stories about the incredible life of Elijah. The story that strikes me the most in reference to this is when Elijah, much like us, falls prey to his doubts and runs off into the dessert to hide from his enemies. After some angelic prodding, Elijah ended up in a cave after an incredible 40 day journey on only one meal. It is here that he is instructed to listen for God:

“The LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” -1 Kings 19:11-13

Isn’t it funny that God had Elijah go out into His presence (which was present the whole time, but He actually "passed by" at the whisper) but yet his small whisper is what we are intended to look for amidst all the other chaotic events? I just love how God does things that sometimes just don’t seem to make sense to us, but truly end up bringing Him SO much glory. What a comfort to know that God is always there throughout all things, and is in control of all things, even things like strong winds, earthquakes and fire! What a challenge it is to fight our human nature and seek out His still small whisper rather than focus on the negative…

In regard to that small whisper, I will just say that my past week was quite hectic, and there was certainly enough chaos to go around, which is a big part of the reason I haven’t updated my blog in awhile. Even so, I can truly say that God was still very present, and I am quite confident that He whispered to more than a couple of us during the week. Amidst the challenges there was great opportunity for growth, and we as a team, heard the whisper and embraced it. I couldn’t be more proud of my fellow interns and staff for our perseverance through the challenging moments.

Just to quickly recap the past week, I worked mainly at a children’s home called Imperio de Amor (IdA, or empire of love) where we began digging an L shaped trench which will serve as the footer for a wall on one side and a fence on the other. I know that doesn’t totally sound logical, but it would if you saw it. We also sealed a lot of the concrete roofs on the other buildings. The sealant goes on AND dries bright white which reflects the sun a lot. Let’s just say that I definitely got some sun while doing that sealing. =)

Outside of working at IdA, the group and I worked on campus a little bit and took our kids to a sweet place called Kidzania the other day. (I SERIOUSLY wish I had one of these places as a kid. You should check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidzania, http://www.kidzania.com/). Also of note, I finally got a chance to go on a good run, which ended up being 8.5 miles long. I will admit that I was certainly sore the rest of the day, and the following days. As of yesterday, I am officially signed up to run a 10k on July 5th. There is no backing out now! It should be pretty exciting, especially since it’s my first long race ever. If you want to read a little about the race you can go here: http://monterrey.usconsulate.gov/euamexico10k.html.

Looking ahead, we have three groups this week totaling around 60 people, so it should be a little bit lower key. I am excited to get to work and to get to know the group I am with. Yet again I can’t wait to see how the Lord will work this week, even if it means calmly sifting through the chaos to see it.

I will be posting some videos and whatnot from the past week here very soon. You're gonna love it!

PICTURES!

Okay, I finally posted my pictures to facebook. Here is the public link for you all to use. I will be adding more pictures as I take them (and have time to upload them).

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2036484&id=69103621&l=fd45aa91b1

I hope to figure out how to share a couple of videos with you all soon. I will keep you posted.

K, gotta go take care of my sunburn haha.

Post Meeting Thoughts

So we just had our Friday morning intern meeting, and unlike last year we began a new tradition where a staff member has the opportunity to share something he or she either thinks is very important for us to hear, or is something that they wished they had known as a youth. So this morning one of my favorite staff members, Juan Porto, presented on seeing God’s plan and leadership, and something he said just struck me upside the head. At some point he said that we shouldn’t pursue leadership, but rather we should let our passions bring us to it, and develop into leadership. Why did this strike me so oddly? I have been pursuing and practicing my leadership gifts for the past two years pretty intensely, but at the last worship service at college I felt like God was telling me two things, 1) Don’t focus on leadership at all for the summer and 2) seek out the orphan child. At that point I was kind of confused about both and what exactly they would look like, but now it just seems so clear…so much of my leadership has been in things in which I am not truly passionate about, and it is just so clear in how difficult it is to stay motivated to lead. I know that God brought me those opportunities to learn a lot, but my direction seems so clear now that I really do need to pursue my passions, and be much more careful about just doing things because they are leadership opportunities.

Another thing that I felt God speak to me this morning came after Greg and I talked about our day at Manantial de Amor yesterday, and how he ended up going back later that day (from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.) to finish up some concrete work that the mason failed to finish even though he said he would. Greg mentioned how one of the boys that he was close with seemed to REALLY appreciate the fact that Greg came back to actually follow through and kept giving him back rubs and things to encourage him. Take a second to think about how many times these orphans are promised something and it never comes to fruition and how much it breaks their hearts. Just think about the way we can minister to their hearts by finishing strong for these children and how much love it speaks. A verse that has been in the back of my head for the past couple of weeks comes to mind. Luke 8:15 says “But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.” Notice how this verse implies that we must persevere to produce a crop, not that it just comes to fruition while we sit and watch. After listening to Greg’s thoughts and reflecting on this verse I thought about my day, and I was instantly drawn to a moment at the very end of the day where I was one of the last people cleaning up, and this child came running up to me to offer me some very cold and refreshing coke. It didn’t strike me until later that this little boy ran all the way from a birthday party the group members were throwing to come show his appreciation by offering coke…I’m sure that he, too felt so loved that we took the time to finish what we set out to do.

So those two things God spoke to me awhile ago seem so clear to me. Right now I just want to minister to these children’s hearts by loving them in every possible way I can, especially by standing firm, giving everything I have and finishing strong each and every day. Each and every little act of love we do for these orphans is a step to renewing their hearts and ushering in the healing that God has planned for them. I feel so free to be able to step back and just act within my passion, and wait to see the leadership God will usher in. I can only hope that that principle will transition back to the states with me in 7 weeks.

Manantial de Amor

So yesterday was just such a great, yet entirely exhausting work day. After the 8 A.M. staff and intern meeting we all knew it would be a bit chaotic with 25+ group members and a tight space to work in, but it just all came together so well. We worked on one main project where we needed to bust up a concrete floor and re-pour it to fix a leaky issue that was causing the existing floor to wash out. It took us all day, and a lot of teamwork, but The Lord just provided for all of us so much throughout the day. I feel like the interns and staff just meshed SO much. I thank God for all that He did through us and know that without His hand in it, we never would have accomplished more than the main project we set out to do.

Daniel

So I’m sitting in the main room on the campus which we call LDM (which stands for Lugar de Misericordia, or place of mercy) and we are in the middle of an ever so wonderful Mexican brownout right now. Thankfully I have some battery power and some free time so I can write about my friend Daniel from Rio 3, which is a terribly impoverished area where people make houses and their $2 a day living out of the garbage they are surrounded with. The other day I was serving at Rio 3, and at a point I went outside to join some group members in a game of soccer against the locals. After the game I began talking with one of the older boys named Daniel. Daniel is 18 years old, has 7 siblings (I met like 5 of them that day haha) and has just graduated high school. He currently isn’t doing anything with his life other than a little bit of work here and there and most likely caring for his family. What I thought would be a short conversation, blossomed into a two hour conversation about many things. At one point I invited Daniel to join us the following day in a work project that we would be doing at the Rio the next day. He was seemed excited, and then began asking me why on earth I, a white skinned gringo, was there serving. Many of the Mexicans in the area were clearly stunned at our presence. It was kind of cool. Nonetheless, this question lead me into a discussion about Back2Back, and eventually our Hope Program. When he heard about the Hope Program (which is a program that gives teens the opportunity to grow up in a family atmosphere and go to college) and that it may be an opportunity for him he got SO excited and asked me to talk to the directors of the Hope Program that night. (On a side note, the power just came back on. Cheers erupted.) Anyways, he said it was his dream to work with B2B, and I left feeling very uncertain about the whole thing as his chances weren’t good, and I didn’t want to get his hopes up, but my Spanish wasn’t good enough to downplay it like I needed to…nonetheless I returned the next day, and told Daniel that I didn’t get a chance to talk to the director, and he was okay with it. He joined us for the work day, and joyfully worked hard with us throughout the day. It was just such a blessing to be able to spend more time with him, and minister to him by spending time alongside him. At the end of the day I left feeling that God was 1) telling me “I told you not to worry about it” and 2) that my role was not yet done with Daniel. I don’t necessarily know where to go from here. I know how many things my flesh wants me to do, things that would emphasize my own power and abilities but I know that isn’t the right direction, so for now I am praying for Daniel each and every day claiming the God’s promises on his behalf, knowing that God has a plan for his life, and that Daniel will be more than provided for. I hope to see it unfold as I am here, but know that only time will tell. (The power just went back out, BOO) So as I head off for a bit of relaxation before tomorrow brings us new groups I invite you to come alongside me as I pray for Daniel and his family. God will work mightily through our prayers.

Daniel is the one in the middle =)

A Typical Day

One of my friends did this and I thought it was a great idea. Here is a typical day in the life of a Back2Back intern not including Saturdays and Fridays which are different because we are receiving and sending off groups.

5:30 - If it is a running day this is when I wake up. I'm running a 10k race (in Mexico!) in July. Craziness.
6:30 - When I normally wake up, quiet time.
7:30 - Shower/breakfast
8:00 - Morning staff and intern meeting
8:15 - Morning preparations, such as preparing the groups food, water and necessary supplies for the day.
8:30-9:50 - Free time while the groups do their bible studies and stuff. Sometimes we leave early or have extra preparations. If I didn't make it out of bed for my quiet time, then I do it now.
10ish - Depart for the work day
11-4 - Work projects. Can't be too specific as this changes like every day.
4-5 - Travel back to campus or a restaurant depending on the group I'm with.
6 - If on campus, dinner, if not then probably still at said restaurant or possibly back and having free time before worship.
8-9 - Worship, YAY!
9-10:30 - I generally hang out with the jovens (teens in our hope program that live on campus and have the chance to go to college) or the other interns or group members.
10:30-11 - Bed time =)

That's a typical day, woot woot! Stay posted, I will write about my friend Daniel soon, AND I will have a picture for once haha.

Reign In Us

Just some lyrics I feel God put on my heart tonight...Reign In Us by Starfield

You thought of us before the world began to breathe
You knew our names before we came to be
You saw the very day we'd fall away from you
And how desperately we need to be redeemed

Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for your touch

Oh Great and Mighty One with one desire we come
That you would reign that you would reign in us
We're offering up our lives a living sacrifice
That you would reign that you would reign in us

Spirit of the Living God fall fresh again
Come search our hearts and purify our lives
We need your perfect love
We need your discipline
We're lost unless you guide us with your light

Lord Jesus come lead us
We're desperate for your touch

Oh Great and Mighty One with one desire we come
That you would reign that you would reign in us
We're offering up our lives a living sacrifice
That you would reign that you would reign in us

We cry out
For your love to refine us cry out
For your love to define us cry out
For your mercy to keep us blameless until you return

Oh Great and Mighty One with one desire we come
That you would reign that you would reign in us
We're offering up our lives a living sacrifice
That you would reign that you would reign in us

So reign please reign in us
Come purify our hearts we need your touch
Come cleanse us like a flood and send us out
So the world may know you reign you reign in us